In the beginning, there was Tyler. A demigod, crafted by the hands of mankind's hope and need for an epidermic hero. Strewn together from a combination of unicorn dust, baby laughter, white magic, and your favorite restaurant's in-house ranch sauce, this universal treasure is guaranteed to set the bar so high that you'll need to stand on his merciful knees to simply drink the punch. A changer of life, altering the fleshy covering of your soul in ways that transform your mind and make your body vibrate indefinitely. A combination of Evil Knievel and your grandma's soufflé, smothered in an amount of parmesan guaranteed to give even the healthiest of children a heart attack. Tyler's name is one to whisper, so you don't cheapen the sound of the coils, a sound of change echoing back from centuries of the past's sacred art. From adding the brightest of colors to your life or taking you to the deepest depths of the ocean, permanently changing not only the human form but also the outlook on his student's lives, he is a preserver of an ancient practice who brings with him your ability to grow, smile, and transform into the wings you thought you could manifest on your own. A trophy of the mind, here on a selfless mission with only the intent to take you to a higher level, show you the meaning of euphoria, and possibly steal a handful of something in your current stash of snacks, he is so very far beyond the only thing in life, harnessing the power to make yours perfect. He keeps a jackalope in his pocket and the aurora borealis at his finger tips.His magic exceeds his experience in mastering his craft. Although it hasn't been completely proven, a team assembled from members of both NASA and Apple has conducted years of research. This is what they have concluded thus far. On the 8th day, God created Tyler. On the 9th day, Tyler told God to take a nap and decided to use his artistic gifts to heal our sins. Embrace. Get tattooed. Be humble. And never forget.
